Marriage in Islam is more than just a union between two individuals; it is a sacred commitment based on divine principles and spiritual values. Choosing a spouse is a decision that impacts not only this worldly life but also the hereafter. In an era where material and superficial criteria often take precedence, it is essential to return to the teachings of Islam to guide this crucial choice.
In this article, we will explore in detail the Islamic criteria for choosing a spouse, drawing on the Quran, Sunnah, and the teachings of Muslim scholars. We will also provide practical advice to help you make an informed decision. Whether you are seeking guidance or looking to deepen your religious knowledge, Al-Dirassa Institute is here to support you with Arabic courses, Islamic studies, and Quran memorization programs.
The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) clearly emphasized that piety should be the main criterion in choosing a spouse. In a hadith reported by Bukhari and Muslim, he said: “A woman is married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion. Choose the one with religion, and you will prosper.”
This hadith highlights the priority given to faith and morality. A pious spouse is a partner who will respect the rights of Allah and yours, guiding you toward goodness. Piety is reflected in the regular practice of religious obligations, such as prayer, fasting, and charity, as well as in exemplary daily behavior.
The Quran mentions the concept of tranquility and affection between spouses: “And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has placed love and mercy between you.” (Surah Ar-Rum, verse 21).
Compatibility in values, life goals, and vision for marriage is essential for building a harmonious relationship. A couple that shares the same religious and moral principles is more likely to overcome life’s challenges.
Islam encourages consultation in important decisions, including the choice of a spouse. The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “He who consults will not regret.” (Reported by Tabarani). Seeking advice from parents, close ones, or pious individuals can provide valuable insight and help avoid mistakes.
The Tarawih prayer, offered after the ‘Isha prayer during the blessed month of Ramadan, is one of the most important practices to strengthen our bond with Allah (SWT). It is an act of devotion that offers great rewards, both spiritual and material. If you wish to deepen your religious knowledge, Al-Dirassa Institute, founded in 2012, offers online courses to help you understand and practice the teachings of Islam, including the Tarawih prayer, authentically and in accordance with the Sunnah.
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Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim (rahimahullah) emphasized that a person’s piety is reflected in their actions and daily behavior. Observe how the suitor treats their family, friends, and people in general. Are they respectful, kind, and just? These character traits are reliable indicators of their morality.
Before committing, it is crucial to ask clear questions about expectations, responsibilities, and goals. The Prophet (ﷺ) encouraged future spouses to meet in the presence of a mahram to get to know each other better. This meeting allows for discussions on important topics, such as household management, child-rearing, and spiritual aspirations.
Parents and pious individuals in your circle can offer objective and compassionate perspectives. Their experience and wisdom are invaluable for making an informed decision. Imam Ash-Shafi’i (rahimahullah) said: “He who does not consult people of knowledge and reason is exposed to regret.”
In a society where appearance and wealth are often prioritized, it is important to remember that these criteria are fleeting. The Prophet (ﷺ) warned: “The world is a prison for the believer and a paradise for the disbeliever.” (Reported by Muslim). Choosing a spouse for material or superficial reasons can lead to disappointment and difficulties.
Understanding Islamic teachings on marriage and marital relationships is essential. Al-Dirassa Institute offers Islamic studies courses to help you master these topics. By studying sacred texts, you will be better equipped to make an informed choice aligned with Islamic principles.
The Arabic language is the key to accessing authentic Islamic sources, such as the Quran and hadiths. Our classical and dialectal Arabic courses allow you to strengthen your connection with the religion and better understand the teachings of the Prophet (ﷺ).
Memorizing the Quran brings numerous blessings, including in the choice of a spouse. The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “The best among you is the one who learns the Quran and teaches it.” (Reported by Bukhari). Join our Quran memorization programs to enrich your spirituality and attract blessings into your life.
In some cultures, family or social pressures can influence the choice of a spouse. It is important to remain faithful to Islamic principles and not be guided by worldly considerations.
If you notice concerning behaviors, such as disrespect toward parents or neglect of religious obligations, take these signs seriously. Imam Ahmad (rahimahullah) said: “Beware of bad character, for it is poison to the heart.”
Marriage is a lifelong commitment. Take the time to reflect, pray, and seek advice before making a decision. The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “Haste is from the devil.” (Reported by Tirmidhi).
Choosing a spouse in Islam is a decision that impacts an entire lifetime. By following religious criteria, seeking compatibility, and deepening your knowledge, you lay the foundation for a fulfilling and blessed union.
Al-Dirassa Institute is here to support you on this spiritual journey. Discover our Arabic courses, Islamic studies, and Quran memorization programs, and enroll today to strengthen your faith and skills.
Ready to deepen your knowledge? Enroll now in Al-Dirassa Institute’s courses and begin your journey toward a better understanding of Islam.
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Al-dirassa center (Markaz ad-dirassa in Arabic) is an institute specialized in the online tuition of the literal Arabic language, the memorization, and the recitation of the Holy Quran as well as the Islamic sciences by distance courses via Skype and Zoom.
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